INTERNONSENSE !
As Lent season begins, I am still pondering what action will cease for my 40 days and 40 nights of sacrifice. Seeing as how I already fell back into my nicotine addiction last month and feasted on a handful of gummy bears this afternoon, I can’t give up cigarettes or go the junk-free route I have every year. Then it dawned on me. Social networking.
Lately I’ve been avoiding the dark abyss that is Facebook, and by avoiding I mean checking no more than once a day. More than just the lack of stolen internet I can receive at home, this website has both amused and annoyed me unnecessarily. It’s ridiculous how caught up one can get seeing what Jimmy ate for breakfast or whether Susie’s love life has taken a turn for the worst. Even more ridiculous is the amount of personal shit people divulge for the world to see.
Enter raving tangent.
I want to know when the majority of my “friends” became such pussies. Every single time I log on, my dashboard is filled with emotional vomit from some depressed, angry, attention-seeking soul who thinks the 500+ people they barely know will care what some insignificant event means to him/her during the course of his/her short, mundane existence.
When did it become okay to spew unintelligible, emotionally-saturated crap within public forums? Who decided receiving insincere feigns of concern was the best way to overcome self-esteem issues? What happened to my generation? Was it the overexposure to boy band lyrics in the 90s?
There are just certain things you don’t share with large groups of people. For example, the only indication that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have called it quits should be your relationship status… if that. Fighting via public forums is not only immature, it’s irritating and trashy. That also goes for fighting in general. You want to bash someone correctly do it like the ones before you and make a hate site– now that shows dedication. However, you could also take the adult approach and just shut the fuck up and keep it moving.
There also seems to be this disease spreading at a rapid pace. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Does “Chronic Statusis Updatesis” sound familiar? The symptoms include: Updating your status every 5 seconds or so, Uploading pictures of the breakfast pastry you just ate or the shiny object that satiated your ADD ass, and showing each accomplishment you’ve earned through that damn Farmville game. I have defriended many an acquaintance who have shown signs of this ailment. I mean shit seems to be contagious. God forbid I should ever catch it. Oh, I also forgot to mention that person who uses their facebook like iTunes. Stop it. Download that garbage and listen to it without showing everyone how obscure your taste in music is and how cool you are for liking it.
I know what you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just delete them off of your friend list?” Believe me, I’ve tried. Like I said, though, shit is contagious. It seems that when I get rid of one emotional sap or chronic no-lifer, another “friend” of mine has caught the fever! What’s worse is that these very same social network abusers appear offended upon mention of one of their statuses in person! On some, “I never told you that how do you know” type shit. Duh bitch, the whole world knows because you cried all over your facebook, twitter, away message, live journal, and tumblr about it. Ya fuck.
Anyway, I digress. I’m not trying to call anybody out or talk shit indirectly, I’m just stating facts. Obviously if we’re still friends (and you know who wrote this), you need not apply… for now.
We’ll see how my absence from the social networking world goes. Maybe I should just abstain from the hate altogether.
