Because he enjoys making little girls cry. Thanks Kanye, for continuing to prove that you are in fact a noble character.

Having limited internet access for days on end sucks, especially when you’ve become isolated from all that is humanity. I have searched high and low for websites that wiggle through “the man’s” fingers and manage to provide me with at least a few moments of entertainment. In my quest, I have stumbled upon the mildly hilarious, awkwardly engrossing, enticingly mind-boggling, and last and very least.. pointless internet scrapbooking.

www.tumblr.com to me is a lazy man’s blog. I understand what it is:  a tumblelog of things that are meant to peak interest and highlight certain aspects of art/music/enlightenment in an easy to browse fashion. However, I only see pages of meaningless garbage.

Foreal, not trying to hate, but what has the blogging world come to? People are using overly-emotionally induced stock photography and quotes a 5th grader could write to portray a “side of themselves no one understands.” Even worse, these forces are sometimes combined to make a more powerful statement of mediocrity.

(Example below, via www.icanread.tumblr.com )

Not to mention a specific tumblr I wasted minutes of my life on trying to understand:  www.fuckyeahskinnybitch.tumblr.com. It’s like an eating disorder waiting to happen.

Worst of all, 95% (guesstimate) of these “tumbl’s” are things reblogged from other users.

So… yeah, tumblr. Not a fan. To each their own I guess.

*Sigh. He makes it too easy.

Done with the Kanye bashing now.. I swear…

…irritates me.

Did you love the Lakers before Kobe? Did you really listen to Michael Jackson before he died? Get the fuck outta here and develop a personality.

There have been 21 confirmed cases of Swine Flu (H1N1 virus) on my boat! AAHHH! If you’re reading this, please save me. Begin swimming from shore, and keep going until you see a big metal death trap with the number 7 painted on the side. Hurry!

– I feel the slight smirk of irony encroaching upon this post. It was only a month ago I blogged about the latest in virus-fighting accessories. Oh cruel fate, what have I done to deserve thee?